Hers, Mine & Ours.....
Hers....
'I Remember Mama'....an old movie made back in the late 40's with Irene Dunne, an especially sweet & poignant story & one I suppose we can all relate to in one way or another, because, after all, everyone has a mother. & I too remember Mama. I remember her laugh, her lovely hands, her voice, her sacrifices, her hard work, her cooking, her sewing, her love of music, & so much more. There were five of us kids & some pretty lean years at times, like when we had to move from a wonderful two-story house to a very small one bedroom house with only partitions separating two rooms & no inside plumbing which meant, of course, a bathroom like this.
& a bathtub like this.
This is how we lived for the five years, three of us as teenaged girls. & as much as I'm sure it meant great privation for my Mother, I don't ever remember hearing her complain, even once, about living in circumstances of no privacy, cramped 'quarters' with five kids, where the only heating was a coal stove, which although certainly kept us warm, was both dirty & smelly. I remember her going with Daddy to get coal, loaded it & unloaded it in the winter, & hauling hay for the cows in the summer, taking care of farm animals, sewing for all of us, endless clothes, drapes, even a huge, oval rug for our otherwise bare, cement floor. She also did gardening & helped my Dad build our house in his after hours of work. & what a cook!! She was the perfect definition of a country cook, had gravy down to perfection, made the best fried chicken & roast dinners & chocolate cake! I am a pretty good cook, but I have never been able to make as good chicken & noodles or bread pudding as my Mother! I found out years later that she didn't even like to cook! But she did love us, & that was one of the many ways she showed it. & she was so talented & creative. I have some of the short stories that she wrote that really should have been published. I have no idea when she ever had time to write because I never saw her or saw anything that she had written. She was always busy taking care of her family. But she did share her great talent of music. She was an understudy for a concert pianist & could play a variety of music genres, but her favorite, & mine, was classical. I remember when she would play songs like 'Humoresque', & 'Clair de Lune' & I would dance my heart out! & of course 'Boogie Woogie'! What fun! & she had records upon records that spanned several decades that we all listened to & certainly got an education in music appreciation! 🎶
My Mother taught me so much, including how to be responsible, how to make do & be contented, how to love, by how she lived, not by necessarily saying anything. She was not demonstrative in physical affection, but I remember that I always knew that she loved me. I never felt insecure about that. I think there were many quiet influences that were positive that affected all of us in our adult years that we weren't, & aren't, even aware of. She always made sure that we went to church when we were little, & then, as we grew older, decided to go of our own volition. I think the reason that she didn't go often herself, is because she didn't have suitable clothes as she saw it. When Mama said that she didn't have anything to wear, it was the truth! But she always made sure that we did. & our shoes, which were so important to a teenage girl, were always stylish & cute although she wore the same brown or navy blue dress shoes for years; not much variety in her wardrobe. Even though we all worked together as a family, at times I know that I was the proverbial self-centered teen & didn't see the many sacrifices she gave for me. & I'm sure her heart broke when there just wasn't the money for some of the events that girls love to go to in high school. But there were always funds for the school dances (how I loved to dance! All kinds of dancing!) & prom dresses. As I said, Mama was an excellent seamstress. 👗
There are so many 'I Remember Mama' memories, that I could never have enough room to write down & many, I'm sure, that I don't remember or even knew about them. But the Lord does, & He really knows how to bless not just mine, but all of those Mothers who have crossed over into their Promised Land. Now, maybe you don't have those kind of memories of your own Mother. Maybe there are memories of cruelty, abuse or neglect. But there are two things that you can do. Forgive her, even if she's gone from this earth. & make the choices to be a good & gracious Mother, or woman yourself. Jesus will help you. "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." ( Phillipians 4:13) & it is so wrong & unfair to judge or hold bitterness. The old adage, "Walk a mile in my shoes," is not really possible, because you are not me & I am not you. We make the choices that form us & make us unique & individuals, one of a kind. & so do the choices that were made for & against us. I can empathize with who you are or are not. But I can't really walk a mile in your shoes because I am not you. You are not me. But I can have compassion & patience for your weaknesses as you can for mine. My Mother was not perfect as a mother or human being. I am not perfect as a mother or human being (as I'm sure those who are around me the most know! Ouch!) Why is it our natural inclination to expect perfection (our definition of course!) from others & not work toward it ourselves, the 'splinter & the beam syndrome' Jesus talks about in Matthew 7.
Actually the word Jesus uses for that is "Hypocrite". Yikes!! The only one who truly knows completely the heart of another, is Jesus. & that is what makes me able to forgive. Jesus knows my heart. He knew my Mothers heart in her motherhood. & I will always be grateful that she's my Mama & the Lord picked her to be my mother & He picked me to be her daughter.
& He doesn't make mistakes. & also, which is very encouraging to me, is that God is the perfect economist! Nothing is ever wasted with Him in the equation! "And we know, that all (& yes He means ALL!) things work together for good to those who love God..." (Romans 8:28) That scripture gives me great peace & trust in Him. He knows. He's got this! Ahhh.....I can breathe again.
Mine...
I will never forget the day or emotions when the nurse laid my first baby girl in my arms. I was nineteen. It gives me a tiny bit of insight of the love of God & how indescribable it is, because you love intensely & passionately & aggressively & instantly this tiny bit of eternity, that just a few minutes ago finished giving you several hours of excruciating pain! WHOA! Some kind of postpartum insanity?? Nope! It's called, 'instant Motherhood'. You love that little one just because she's yours. She didn't do one thing to earn it or deserve it. It's hers. & whether she wants it or not! ( & by the way, if you've been a mother for any amount of time, you also know that the excruciating pain was only the beginning of whole new definitions to the word 'pain'!)
As powerful & overwhelming the awakened Mother-love was, an almost equally powerful & overwhelming emotion for me was birthed at almost the same moment. & that was the overwhelming emotion of FEAR! "How am I going to do this? I KNOW NOTHING! I'm all alone & I don't know how to take care of this fragile little fluff thing! What if I break her? What if I drop her? Can the nurse come home with me?! !Can my Mother move to my house?! How will I teach her anything? I KNOW NOTHING! How will she be able to live through my total ineptness as a mother? She'll die! I'll die! HEEEELP!!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, my emotions settled after awhile, & the fiercely, protective Mother-heart kicked in & I knew that my daughter & I would both survive. ( It was in the years when she & my other children left home & were totally out of my control that it became a question of survival again, but only on my part.)
Although, over the years, I have felt at times, like a complete failure as a mother, I am so glad I am one. & grandmother too. These have always been my top priority. It's a job that only I can do. Don't ever have to be concerned about job security there. (Probably because the job is so demanding & you are on call 24 hours a day that noone but a mother would take the job!)
At our house, we know how to celebrate, & birthdays, holidays & non-holidays are a big deal! Also, we all loved to read, so reading aloud was a favorite activity for our family, from the Narnia books, L.M. Montgomery books, George MacDonald & Jan Karon books, to many biographies, mysteries, inspirational stories of the lives of Christians who have gone before us & blazed trails for all who would follow, books that have transformed or formed our lives. Reading together as a family is a very connecting time. Even my husband loves it. He's a great story teller, but I'm the reader. Oh, & we all loved the Patrick McManus books. I had to add that because his books are so hilarious! & laughter is also very connecting! & we did a lot of laughing.
😂!!
We have always had many animals as the kids were growing up. Lots of cats, dogs, horses, chickens, ducks, turkeys, rabbits, ferrets, even a mouse or two! & a potbellied pig (named 'Hamlet'!) Too numerous to count!
& some wild creatures that came & stayed for just awhile before going back to their own habitats. So much joy. So much heartbreak. I will share their stories in other posts, but all had an impact on our lives. We still have dogs, cats & a horse, but it's my heart to have more of all kinds of animals once we get back to the country again.
As a mother, life has not turned out the way I idealistically dreamed. Or as a grandmother. My children & grandchildren all live far away. My children did not make the choices I hoped they would make. (Come on now, couldn't one of them have married a veterinarian with all of the animals we have? Well, we still have one daughter left, so here's hoping!) & there have been a lot of sleepless nights, tears, joys, heartbreak & loss, but that just goes with the job description. It did for my mom & does with my daughters too. It takes a lot of energy, work, time, both quality & quantity, strength, ongoing forgiveness both ways, & love, love, love & then more love. Which also comes with the job description. Actually, I think that love is just built in with a mother because we human beings are just not that lovable because of the self-centered gene bank we inherited from the humans before us. Thank you Jesus for that "from your heart to ours" mother-love that you perfected in us or we would have self-destructed a long time ago! 💕 & to my children I say, forgive my many failures, know that my heart is true in my love for you & my prayers follow you wherever you go.
Ours...
"Children are a heritage, of the Lord..." (Psalm 127:3.) To me as a mother, this is a very sobering & humbling scripture. Whoa. & may I again say "HEEEELP!"
I could not & cannot do this on my own. & I don't want to. It's too much for me, but not for Jesus & me. It goes on to say in the same scripture, that children are a reward. Hmmmm. A reward? For what exactly? Well, my own thought is, children are not OUR reward. They are His. A reward is a treasure, something that you think highly of, even love, & that reward is given into our care & keeping. That is scary responsibility, & the Lord actually gave it over to we humans. That's why every one of us as mothers (father's too) should be calling "Heeeelp!!" to the Lord. We were never meant to do this on our own thank goodness. Sometimes though, even in our partnership in parenting with the Lord, children can still choose to follow their own way when it's harmful. There may be times when your heart has been crushed by your children's choices & you feel as if you are in a suffocating fog or drowning in mud. I remember telling the Lord that I didn't want to know I could live through that kind of pain. But I did. Because of Jesus. Here's a wonderful & healing scripture from the Lord's heart to yours. "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart..." 💔 (Psalm 34:18) It is so comforting to know that He knows, He loves us & will hold us close at these times, & will heal our broken hearts. & Sometimes He had to carry me because I was too weak. The guilt & self-accusation of "It's my fault", or "If only I had..." or "If only I hadn't..." merry-go-round is deadly to our hearts, spirits & homes. We will fail at times. We will make honest mistakes. We will outright sin. But when we are truly repentant (don't mistake self-pity for true repentance) Jesus will pick us up, dust us off, & help us to fix what it is fixable, or begin again & do better. & forgive our frail humanity. We still have the tomorrows out there so there's hope. Doesn't that fill your heart with gratitude?? Love those second chances (times twenty hundred!!)! 😊
as a result of faithful praying mothers-in-the-spirit who have travailed in intercessory prayer, bearing seed for sowing. & the purpose for sowing is to reap a harvest! Every one who plants a garden expects to reap a harvest.
There are so many 'I Remember Mama' memories, that I could never have enough room to write down & many, I'm sure, that I don't remember or even knew about them. But the Lord does, & He really knows how to bless not just mine, but all of those Mothers who have crossed over into their Promised Land. Now, maybe you don't have those kind of memories of your own Mother. Maybe there are memories of cruelty, abuse or neglect. But there are two things that you can do. Forgive her, even if she's gone from this earth. & make the choices to be a good & gracious Mother, or woman yourself. Jesus will help you. "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." ( Phillipians 4:13) & it is so wrong & unfair to judge or hold bitterness. The old adage, "Walk a mile in my shoes," is not really possible, because you are not me & I am not you. We make the choices that form us & make us unique & individuals, one of a kind. & so do the choices that were made for & against us. I can empathize with who you are or are not. But I can't really walk a mile in your shoes because I am not you. You are not me. But I can have compassion & patience for your weaknesses as you can for mine. My Mother was not perfect as a mother or human being. I am not perfect as a mother or human being (as I'm sure those who are around me the most know! Ouch!) Why is it our natural inclination to expect perfection (our definition of course!) from others & not work toward it ourselves, the 'splinter & the beam syndrome' Jesus talks about in Matthew 7.
Actually the word Jesus uses for that is "Hypocrite". Yikes!! The only one who truly knows completely the heart of another, is Jesus. & that is what makes me able to forgive. Jesus knows my heart. He knew my Mothers heart in her motherhood. & I will always be grateful that she's my Mama & the Lord picked her to be my mother & He picked me to be her daughter.
& He doesn't make mistakes. & also, which is very encouraging to me, is that God is the perfect economist! Nothing is ever wasted with Him in the equation! "And we know, that all (& yes He means ALL!) things work together for good to those who love God..." (Romans 8:28) That scripture gives me great peace & trust in Him. He knows. He's got this! Ahhh.....I can breathe again.
Mine...
As powerful & overwhelming the awakened Mother-love was, an almost equally powerful & overwhelming emotion for me was birthed at almost the same moment. & that was the overwhelming emotion of FEAR! "How am I going to do this? I KNOW NOTHING! I'm all alone & I don't know how to take care of this fragile little fluff thing! What if I break her? What if I drop her? Can the nurse come home with me?! !Can my Mother move to my house?! How will I teach her anything? I KNOW NOTHING! How will she be able to live through my total ineptness as a mother? She'll die! I'll die! HEEEELP!!"
Of course, my emotions settled after awhile, & the fiercely, protective Mother-heart kicked in & I knew that my daughter & I would both survive. ( It was in the years when she & my other children left home & were totally out of my control that it became a question of survival again, but only on my part.)
Although, over the years, I have felt at times, like a complete failure as a mother, I am so glad I am one. & grandmother too. These have always been my top priority. It's a job that only I can do. Don't ever have to be concerned about job security there. (Probably because the job is so demanding & you are on call 24 hours a day that noone but a mother would take the job!)
At our house, we know how to celebrate, & birthdays, holidays & non-holidays are a big deal! Also, we all loved to read, so reading aloud was a favorite activity for our family, from the Narnia books, L.M. Montgomery books, George MacDonald & Jan Karon books, to many biographies, mysteries, inspirational stories of the lives of Christians who have gone before us & blazed trails for all who would follow, books that have transformed or formed our lives. Reading together as a family is a very connecting time. Even my husband loves it. He's a great story teller, but I'm the reader. Oh, & we all loved the Patrick McManus books. I had to add that because his books are so hilarious! & laughter is also very connecting! & we did a lot of laughing.
😂!!
We have always had many animals as the kids were growing up. Lots of cats, dogs, horses, chickens, ducks, turkeys, rabbits, ferrets, even a mouse or two! & a potbellied pig (named 'Hamlet'!) Too numerous to count!
As a mother, life has not turned out the way I idealistically dreamed. Or as a grandmother. My children & grandchildren all live far away. My children did not make the choices I hoped they would make. (Come on now, couldn't one of them have married a veterinarian with all of the animals we have? Well, we still have one daughter left, so here's hoping!) & there have been a lot of sleepless nights, tears, joys, heartbreak & loss, but that just goes with the job description. It did for my mom & does with my daughters too. It takes a lot of energy, work, time, both quality & quantity, strength, ongoing forgiveness both ways, & love, love, love & then more love. Which also comes with the job description. Actually, I think that love is just built in with a mother because we human beings are just not that lovable because of the self-centered gene bank we inherited from the humans before us. Thank you Jesus for that "from your heart to ours" mother-love that you perfected in us or we would have self-destructed a long time ago! 💕 & to my children I say, forgive my many failures, know that my heart is true in my love for you & my prayers follow you wherever you go.
Ours...
"Children are a heritage, of the Lord..." (Psalm 127:3.) To me as a mother, this is a very sobering & humbling scripture. Whoa. & may I again say "HEEEELP!"
I could not & cannot do this on my own. & I don't want to. It's too much for me, but not for Jesus & me. It goes on to say in the same scripture, that children are a reward. Hmmmm. A reward? For what exactly? Well, my own thought is, children are not OUR reward. They are His. A reward is a treasure, something that you think highly of, even love, & that reward is given into our care & keeping. That is scary responsibility, & the Lord actually gave it over to we humans. That's why every one of us as mothers (father's too) should be calling "Heeeelp!!" to the Lord. We were never meant to do this on our own thank goodness. Sometimes though, even in our partnership in parenting with the Lord, children can still choose to follow their own way when it's harmful. There may be times when your heart has been crushed by your children's choices & you feel as if you are in a suffocating fog or drowning in mud. I remember telling the Lord that I didn't want to know I could live through that kind of pain. But I did. Because of Jesus. Here's a wonderful & healing scripture from the Lord's heart to yours. "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart..." 💔 (Psalm 34:18) It is so comforting to know that He knows, He loves us & will hold us close at these times, & will heal our broken hearts. & Sometimes He had to carry me because I was too weak. The guilt & self-accusation of "It's my fault", or "If only I had..." or "If only I hadn't..." merry-go-round is deadly to our hearts, spirits & homes. We will fail at times. We will make honest mistakes. We will outright sin. But when we are truly repentant (don't mistake self-pity for true repentance) Jesus will pick us up, dust us off, & help us to fix what it is fixable, or begin again & do better. & forgive our frail humanity. We still have the tomorrows out there so there's hope. Doesn't that fill your heart with gratitude?? Love those second chances (times twenty hundred!!)! 😊
You know, mothering days are never really over during our sojourn on this earth. & I don't mean just with our children. Mother's give birth, or, life. As Christians we have a calling to carry over birthing, mothering, to others. "He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his (or her) sheaves with him." (Psalm 126:6) There are countless "birthing rooms" ushering in babies in Christ
& there is no barrenness ever to these faithful mothers. 💗
I know this post is several days past 'Mother's Day'....or is it? Because truly, every day is Mother's Day, or, a day to mother. So to all of you Mothers ( & Grandmother's! 👵) who are in different stages or places of mothering,
from my home to yours!
💖
"& let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall REAP if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9)
Harvest is on the way for your children, grandchildren & those you birth in the spirit!!
Raintree perk of the day:
"We (Mother's) shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves (harvest)!! Wow! Now THAT'S good news!!
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